Thursday, December 31, 2009

Resolved To Love Who God Loves, Me

On a day filled with twitted and facebooked resolutions for the new year, I felt the pressure to form my own resolution. I considered the resolutions of my friends; lose ten pounds, be a better mother, a better wife, get organized, and many more resolutions all centered around being better. Although I could definitely stand to lose ten pounds (or more), I am not the perfect mother or wife, and my linen closet is a testament to disorganization, I couldn't bring myself to resolve to change anything else this year. Just the thought of scrutinizing myself and staring at my faults left me feeling depressed and defeated.

Why not resolve to love exactly who I am right now? Why not accept the linen closet as it is. What's the big deal anyway? Why can't the washcloths be found under the sheets and the stack of hand towels be peppered with dish towels? Who wrote the Tidy Linen Closet Constitution of America anyway?

As far as being a better mother is concerned, raising teenagers is like pruning kudzu, trim it back and more pops up there is always a new area in need of guidance. June Cleaver didn't have a daughter or instead of gardening in her nylons and pearls I'm certain she would be much like me, policing the spaceface and the mybook all while dodging the rolling eyeballs and shoving a frozen lasagna in the oven.

Though perfect wife I am not, my husband adores me. I mean he adores me. He doesn't want me to change, he married me, not a changed me. Which brings me back around to my resolution for the year 2010. I resolve to love the one God loves, me. Just like my husband, God loves me, adores me just the way that I am, not a changed me. He searches my heart and sees me. He sees that I love Him and I adore Him and most of all He sees that I am His child. He did the changing the day I was saved. I am a new creature in Christ because He did the only change that was necessary for me to live eternally with Him. The rest has been growth. I can't make my children grow one inch, the inch comes with time. Growth in all areas of our life come with time, not New Years Day resolutions. Forced growth can leave another area stunted. I certainly wouldn't just stare at my son's legs all day January 1st and wait for them to get longer, I expect them the grow along with the rest of him with time.

I want to live and grow at the correct pace loving God and who I am in Christ and accepting that the imperfections in my life will be perfected with growth over time as I keep my eye on the prize, eternity with Him. For there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus and are called according to His purpose. I have been set free and have been asked by my savior to cast my cares upon Him for He will do the caring for me. I thankfully have been delivered from the aspiration of the perfect wife or mother award and with even more gratitude I have been delivered from the Constitution of the Tidy Linen Closet of America.